Finding the right doula is all about finding a good match. Your doula should fit seamlessly into your life and the life of your family.
A lot of times you'll hear doulas say that we "hold space", which I think is pretty accurate. We're not there to be your cheerleader (although we will encourage you completely). We're not there to be your coach (although we'll make sure you have all of the tools you need to have the birth you envision). And we're not there to replace your partner.
Instead, we help you create, make and keep space. And finding someone who is able to do that in a way that is natural and feels comfortable is all about the Match.
Meeting a doula is sort of like going on a blind date. You have possibly scoped out their profile on a site like Doula Match. You were attracted to their skill set. You sent them an inquiry and they emailed back. The emails and the phone conversations felt wonderful and natural, and you got actual nervous butterflies in your stomach waiting for them to arrive to the initial consultation. And in the moment you met the chemistry just clicked.
I've had this feeling for all of my births and I can say honestly that it is one of the best feelings. And. Even after meeting with a couple or woman who is giving birth and even if everything feels amazing and we gel well as a team, I always encourage the couple or single person to go home and think about it.
Hiring a doula is not only a big financial decision, it's a big personal decision. Inviting another person into a birthing space is a big deal. That person, your doula, will bare witness to your birth and the expansion of your family. They will see you laugh and cry and roar. They will see you at your most vulnerable and your most powerful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that they will truly see you. Into the deepest parts of your soul.
Now think back to that initial meeting. Is that the person you want to share your soul space with?
For me, thankfully, the answer has always been yes. In fact, there has only been one time when it wasn't a good match between me and a mother. And it was me who decided that we didn't quite fit. She went on to have a lovely birth and found the right doula for her. And I went on to continue to do births as well and find clients who were a good match for me.
Like a good date, a good partner, a good melon - you just know.
The air has finally grown crisp and the weather is wet here in Tacoma. This weekend my partner and I tried to take care of the leaves that have fallen in our side yard. There always seems to be a project when you own an old house. The leaves were an easy one! This is a photo of me and our black cat, Leroy who was more than happy to keep my toes warm while I raked.
There are many exciting things coming down the pike. For one, I'm re-launching my doula business which will include Belly Butters, Hand Salves, Massage Oils and Room Sprays like before, but I'm also hoping to add alternatives for baby powder and vaseline for little ones. And down the line, some hand-sewn gifts for babes. I've changed the name to Pine and Willow.
I've been talking to some doulas in the South Puget Sound area about creating a cooperative doula collective that would include an ethnically and racially diverse group of birth workers, massage therapists, acupuncturists, and CBEs. This is a late fall 2016 plan that I'm SO excited for, it's been my dream since I became a doula.
And in terms of my own education, I'm looking forward to getting some Postpartum Doula training, starting prenatal yoga training, and working on becoming a Certified Lactation Consultant.
I currently have openings for January births in the South Puget Sound Area; any where from South Seattle to Gig Harbor!
So that's what's happening in my world, what's going on in yours?
Do you Instagram? Be sure to follow me at @kavanahdoula and @pineandwillow
Hi there! I'm Erika Davis and I'm a doula working in the Seattle and South Puget Sound area.